1. Too Cruel
I was there and you were, too
I was like a stupid kid in Sunday school
I hated where I was I didn’t want to go back
And then I heard your voice say, “Relax…
Because I was too cruel
As you were too cruel, too
And I was bleeding on the ground
And you were nowhere to be found
I was there and you were, too
We were making lots of waves in the swimming pool
We were baking in the sun,
Naked, flat on our backs
And then you cut me up with your axe
You were in my underwear
And I was really unaware
Of how you really felt inside
And then I spoke the words that made
you cry
I was there and you were, too
I was lying next to you and then I started to drool
I don’t mean it but I treat you like a piece of meat
2. Mannequeen
It’s time to go to bed and you need to fine a stick
Remove all of your makeup ’cause it’s 7 inches thick
Why do you plaster up your face?
I’m almost too afraid to ask
You’d probably look as good if you’d just wear a rubber mask
Why are you trying to impress us
With the short lengths of your dresses?
What are you trying to prove
By donning those silicone boobs?
Baked skin is what’s in, so it’s off to the tanning bed
To turn your skin to leather and put scales upon your legs
Your black roots start to show so once again you bleach your hair
A golden crown to wear upon your head that’s full of air!
A mannequin brought to life with a suitcase for a purse
A life built on a lie, you’re riding on the fashion hearse
Rip off your phoney mask, just let it crack and disappear
Peel off your perfect skin and take a good look in the mirror
Who are you trying to impress?
Where is your self-respect?
What are you trying to prove?
We don’t need the Vogue attitude
Mannequeen!!! Mannequeen!!!
3. Teenage Zombie
I’ve been dead for 16 years
And now l’m crying zombie tears
I’m dead-alive, I’m petrified
I’m mummified, I’m on a diet
And it gets so hard sometimes
Yeah, I know so well I’ve died
And I just want to meet you
I’ll try hard not to eat you
I’m tempted by your living flesh
I need it!!!
I’m standing here, you’re over there
A poodle skirt and beehive hair
I wanna hold your hand, please understand
I’m not so bad because I ate your dad
I look outside through watered eyes
My appetite just will not die
I love you so, you’ll never know
I want a date, but I just ate!!!
4. Missy and Johnny
Missy and Johnny’s young, cute as can be
Missy and Johnny’s got a Christmas tree
Missy and Johnny’s got two little kids
Missy and Johnny’s been married 6 years
But now Missy, she don’t love Johnny anymore
And poor Johnny just misses Missy more and more
He’s still in love… She hates his guts…
He wants a kiss but all she gives him is a shove
Missy came home, she said she wants a divorce
Johnny feels like he’s been crushed by a horse
Missy started drinking, found a boyfriend at work
Johnny feels so mad he wants to beat up that jerk
Johnny’s all bitter, he’ll never marry again
He doesn’t want another man raising his kids
He’s gonna move on, he’s gonna be in a band
His troubles disappear with a guitar in his hand
5. Cowboy
Well you call me a queer
Because of the way that I appear
Well I call you a fuck
l’d love to smash your pickup truck
Call all your friends on your C.B.
Laugh and spit and point and make fun of me
You spend too much time down on the farm
Fucking the cows you keep in the barn
Well you call me a threat
Because of the chains around my neck
Well I call you a waste
I’d love to rip the beard off your face
(Honky tonk jamboree)
Well you call me a fag
In the mall behind my back
Well I call you a puke
Your fat-ass wife ain’t Daisy Duke
6. Used To Be Cool
You used to be my friend
You used to be my girl
You used to rule my world
Now you’re too cool for me
You used to be someone cool to me
You used to hold my hand
You used to hang around
But now you just make me frown
’cause you’re too cool for me
You used to wash my clothes
You used to make my bed
You use to shave my head
Now you’re too cool for me
7. Yay Jesus
Spiritual stupidity
In these Christian stores I see
“Jesus Loves You” pink frisbees
Goodness what a ministry
I can’t see people on their knees
Because you wear your Christian tees
This isn’t Christ, it’s Christianese
head up your ass bookstore disease!
Oi! Oi! Yay Jesus!!!
You’re living in your comfort zone
You Dial-a-Bible study from your phone
It’s nice and warm inside your home
While cold outside the homeless roam
You rip us off! You overprice!
Your bibles are $69.95
Plastic Jesus green nite lites
I thank God that I’m not your type
Gee, I really need that Peter puppet
I think the church kids are gonna love it!”
Take your puppet home and fuck it
A lard bucket makes a better puppet
Your Bible bookstores are such a big, big bore
You sell us nothing for much, much more
l’d love to close your stupid doors
But you’d just sav, “Praise the Lord!”
8. High School Sweetie
She was a high school queen, she was a teenage dream
She was the prettiest girl that you’ve ever seen
But now something has changed, she doesn’t want to shave
And now she has a beard just like Mr. T’s
She’s taking welding class, she’s got a hairy ass
She’s got a hot-rod Chevy that she drives real fast
She dates a boy named Sue, he wants a pussy, too
And they’re both really bored with sniffing glue
Life’s never black and white for a Hermaphrodite
Life’s never black and white for a hermaphrodite
She used to play with her dolls
Now she plays with her balls
Life’s never black and white for a Hermaphrodite
She’s on the football team, she’s wearing metal cleats
She’s the whole reason why the team has never been beat
She’s got a jockstrap on, she also wears a bra
You should see the guys staring in the shower stalls
The kids all point and laugh, they’ll never understand
What it feels like to be a teenage feminine man
She wants to be a wife, she wants a normal life
So she chopped her penis off with a Ginsu knife
Life’s never black and white for a hermaphrodite
Life’s never black and white for a hermaphrodite
She used to play with her balls
Now she’s back to shopping at the mall
Life’s never black and white for a hermaphrodite
9. Stacey’s Couch
I called you on the phone
You were eating pancakes all alone
And you were worried about the snow
You told me to hold on so you could change phones
Every time I try to get to you
Something happens and it makes me pout
I want you so bad I’m going crazy
I wonder when I’ll get to see your couch
I was going to see you today
But a blizzard came from miles away
And now I’m stuck inside
Writing this song I hope it makes you smile
Snow, snow go away
Come again some other day
Just go away to Japan
Because I need to hold my dear Stacey’s hand
I used to try so hard to try to get to you
But now l’ve learned to move on with my life
You disgust me with the stupid things you do
I’m so glad I realized that your “Love”was lies!
10. Cash In
Prejudice, hate, and judgment, mixed with fear
Let’s pollute your head with how we think you should feel
A love song to keep your free thinking in line
We’re out to water down your brain, we’re doing just fine
We’ve been working on you since the day you were born
We’re gonna mold you so you won’t stray from the “norm”
Hey nyah nyah nyah FIT IN!
Hey nyah nyah nyah… BE COOL!
Turn the radio on, personality’s gone
Yeah yeah yeah, you’re gone
“Alternative” culture’s destroying our youth
Let’s try to market it, let’s make it cool
We’ll replace “dangerous” bands with some bands of our own
Put some dye on their head, put a ring in their nose
Pump up the drugs ’til the youth become blind
To the fact what they hate’s what’s controlling their lives
Your ignorance has made us rich, we own the superstars’ asses you lick
The more money you spend on us (the majors)
is less money you spend on them (the underground)
Don’t buy records from them!!!
11. Teenaged Punks On Talk Shows
Teenage punks on talk shows are really fun to see
It’s right up there with incest and midget wrestling
They wear their punk rock hairdos, they wear their punk rock clothes
When somebody asks them why, they don’t even know
They make us all look stupid, they make us look insane
I hate it when a shaven head is absent of a brain
Teenage punks on talk shows yell at their moms and dads
They call it “teen rebellion,” it’s just another fad
They wear their punk rock hairdos, they wear their punk rock clothes
When somebody asks them why, they don’t even know
Don’t tell me you’re just being yourself
when you just look like everybody else
If it’s such a statement tell me what you’re trying to say
Stop trying to be just like Green Day!
Teenage punks on talk shows, they’re full of shit to me
Teenage punks on talks shows, they’re dressed up for TV
They wear their punk rock hairdos, they drool on Jenny Jones
When somebody asks them why, they just pick their nose
12. Kitty
This song was written by Michael G Knott and was used because we like the song so much.
The original version appears on Michael Knott’s second solo album, Rocket and a Bomb.
It’s not punk but it’s really good.
13. Yesterday
Yesterday I was happy
Yesterday I was clean
Yesterday I was smiling
Yesterday I could see
I want yesterday today!
Yesterday I was there
Yesterday I was with you
Yesterday I was tearless
Yesterday I was true
14. Better Than Me
Bitch all the time about how everything’s lame
Running your mouth because you know everything
Ugly motherfucker, you’re no better than me
Can’t you see through your hair that you’re not fooling me?
Everyone thinks that your band really sucks
King of the Scene? You’re just King of the Schmucks
Anyone smart knows you’re so full of shit
Zip up your pants, we don’t care about your dick!
Everything in the world, you’ve done it better than me
Everything on the planet, you’ve done it more times than me
15. Somehow
You made my world go ’round
You made it inside out now
You made me make these sounds
You made me want to blow up
You know you do it
You know you do these things you do
You tried, you blew it!
I used to love you so and I guess I still
do somehow…
You were the girl for me
You were just what I needed
Oh yeah, but now I see
I’ve been robbed, pillaged, and cheated
Why do you do it?
Why do you do these things you do?
You know you’re stupid
I used to love you so and I guess I still do
somehow…
You lied to me and now I see that
You’re not for me and now I see that
Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong
Maybe this song’s misdirected
I knew it all along
l’d eat these words I’m spraying
You know, so do I, that we can’t escape from the magnetic pull
It grows, increases, it draws me to you although I hate your fucking guts
You stupid slut… you fucking cunt..
I hate you now!
16. Kill Me In My Sleep
I don’t even know why I have a girlfriend my oh my
We’re always in a fight we always make each other cry
You know, sometimes, I think she wants me wants
To go out and hang myself, I think she wants me dead
She says I make her miserable, a bullet in my head
She’s gonna cut my throat someday
because I hurt her oh so deep
She says someday she’ll make me pay
She’s gonna fucking murder me!
She’s gonna kill me in my sleep
I don’t even know what she sees in me, I’m such a slob
We hate each others’ guts, I pinch her butt, she kicks my nuts
You know sometimes, I think she wants me dead
To go out and hang myself, I think she wants me dead
She says I make her miserable, a bullet in my head
She’s gonna cut my throat someday
Because I hurt her oh so deep
She says someday she’ll make me pay
She s gonna fucking murder me!
17. Wimp Boy
Well I’m a wimp boy, a weakling, a nothing, so bite me!
A wimp boy, a weirdo, a bozo, so go home!
No, I won’t fight you ’cause I’ll just get beat up
I’ll fall to the ground in a puddle of blood
Does that make me a fag ’cause I’m not so tough?
Does that make you a man ’cause you fight so goddam rough?
My arms look like they belong Popeye
Beat me up and I’ll probably just cry
You’ve picked on me for enough of my life
I’m not strong now but someday I’ll make you die!
I’m a wimp boy, a retard, a loser, so fuck you!
I’m a wimp boy, a dickless, a chickenshit, so what?!?!
18. Girls Are Always Mean To Me
Girls are always mean to me
They never hardly speak to me
I can’t help it that I’m a geek
With zits on my forehead and cheeks
They’re always throwing rocks at me
Their boyfriends all beat up on me
I’ve got blood on both my knees
From scraping them on the concrete
Whoah-Whoah
And I can’t take it anymore
I’m gonna go find me a whore
The kind of girl who won’t ignore my needs
A girl who won’t ignore my needs
A girl who won’t be mean to me
Girls are always mean to me
They never go on dates with me
Spit in my eyes so I can’t see
Their faces making fun of me
The only girls I get are freaks
Fat girls with braces on their teeth
Broom Hilda’s not the girl for me
’cause I think she’s so damn ugly
Whoah-whoah
And I don’t care about the fee
19. Julie’s Got A Fetus
She’s got a bun in the oven
It’s right where you left it
So why the hell are you running
Away from her?
Sh’e got a gun in her pocket
It’s aimed at your manhood
Funny how your “love rocket”
Caused so much pain
She was everything you needed
She was queen of your back seat
Until you learned she had a fetus in her womb
What will she do?
What will she do?
Sh’e getting bigger and bigger
She’s thought about abortion
Man, she almost pulled the trigger to end it all
She’s still at home with her parents
Mom wants her grand-baby
At school Julie feels embarassed
She’s seventeen
She’s got a job at the bakery
She’s working on the night shift
Man, it’s tough to raise a baby
All by yourself
She’s gonna act a little tougher
Save her tears in a bottle
Never let you see her suffer
It lets her win
Where the hell are you?
20. Froggy
On Friday night she is his date
On Saturday, he thinks she’s great
But Monday morning back to school
He’s way to busy being cool
To notice her
That mixed up girl
She thinks of him
She don’t exist
She’s just a conversation
Fuel for teenage masturbation
High school locker room sensation
But he’s a ‘prince,” a “gentleman”
At least in her imagination
All his friends think she’s a slut
But truth is that have never fucked
They’ve kissed five, six, or seven times
But he’s too busy going blind
To notice her
That mixed up girl
She thinks of him
She don’t exist
But he’s a ‘prince,” a “gentleman”
She’s fuel for teenage masturbation
21. Boy Of The Month
It’s getting close to that time of the month again
No, not your period, it’s time to find a new boyfriend
I’ll take a number and I’ll wait my turn in line
I’ll wait forever, I’ve been waiting all my life
You’re boy crazy, I know it’s true
But I’m crazy, crazy for you
It sounds silly, I know it does
But I’d really just love a month to waste on you
I’ve had a crush on you since 11th grade
And now I’m 20 and I still feel the same way
I’ve never said it, but I’d love to take you out
My heart’s a mess, I’d love your hand to rip it out
I’d love to be Boy of the Month to you
Yes, it’s true
I’d love to be Boy of the Month to you
And see all the stupid things you do
I’d love to be Boy of the Month to you
Yes, it’s true
I’d love to be Boy of the Month to you
I had a dream about you again last night
You finally liked me for the first time in my life
I was so happy just to hold you in my arms
I tried to kiss you then I heard my damn alarm
22. Twenty Years
It’s been twenty years and I’m getting older
Twenty years and I’m going nowhere
Twenty years and I’m growing colder inside
It’s been twenty years and I’m not back in school
Twenty years and I’m tired of being cool
Twenty years what am I gonna do
With my life?
It’s my life!
Fuck this life!
I hate my life!
I don’t wanna sit on my ass
Don’t wanna join no working class
Don’t wanna grow up too fast
<b>I don’t wanna be an adult!</b>
I wondering what I’m gonna be
I’m always broke
I spend my money on tapes, CD’s and putting out a zine
I don’t wanna fit in your mold
Don’t wanna do the things I’m told
Don’t wanna live life being old
<b>Don’t wanna be an adult!</b>
I know that I’m just a lazy bum
Never held a job for very long
I always quit when I’m just catching on
23. Weiner
I hate this town, there nothing to do
Save for hanging around with a bunch of goons
I play my stereo loud, I shake the walls of my room
I hate this town, there’s nothing to do
Save for hanging around with the local goons
I keep my head to the ground, my ass sleeps ’til noon
And I’m not gonna change nothing
‘Cause I’m too busy being bored
No, I’m not gonna do nothing
I spend too much time drunk on the floor
No, I’m not gonna change the world
I do good just to change my clothes
And I’m not gonna change nothing
‘Cause I’m stuck in the twilight zone
I hate my job worse and worse every day
I’d like to start my own band, but I can’t play
I’d like to write me a zine, but I ain’t got nothing to say
I hate my job worse and worse every day
I’d like to start my own band, but I can’t play
My contribution to the scene is a mere verbal complaint
24. Medicine
It keeps on getting worse every single day
Sometimes I wish you’d pack your bags
And move real far ways
I’m just a boy, I’m not a man
Just take me for the mess I am
Or leave me here all alone
Sometimes I wish you’d understand
Sometimes I just want it to end
Sometimes I don’t want to be friends
I’m feeling all fucked up again
I need to take my medicine!
I wanted to play golf with you again last night
But you said no, so I jacked off,
You turned it to a fight
It’s a guy thing, ask any man
Sometimes I like to fuck my hand
It doesn’t mean you’re ugly
25. Showgirl
Last night I went to Gumby’s
Local club for local dummies
But I couldn’t watch the show
‘Cause she was watching me, oh oh
She looked real cool
She had punk hair
Dyed red in steaks
Just down to there
She had some pretty cool tattoos
I didn’t talk, I wanted to
I wanted to ask her her name
But I just sat there feeling lame
I wanted to ask her out
But I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth
My brain was getting messed up
And my hair was really fucked up
I couldn’t watch the show
She was still there I stood alone
Every time I’d look her way
She’d smile and I’d just turn away
I thought maybe it was the booze
That would attract her to a stooge
But then she walked right up to me
And then she talked to me
I wanted to ask her out
But I could’nt get the words out of my mouth
I spent the night on her friends floor
I’d like to see that girl some more
I’m glad I went to that stupid show
Even though the band they really blowed
But now Gumby’s is closed down
And that cool girl’s from out of town
She’ll never know it now
I really wish she’d stuck around
I wish that she could be around
I wish that we could hang around
I wanted to ask her out
But I never got those words out of my mouth