1. No chance
I remember back in school
Third grade, I sat right next to you
Rotten apples filled up my school box
I had the biggest crush on you
I’d even eat my paste for you
I got my heart tied up in knots
And I dreamed of days with you
If you were mine and what we’d do
We’d build constructions paper kites
And fly them in the bluest skies
Chasing birds and butterflies
Kool-aid lips around our smiles
Ride our bikes for miles and miles
And miles
Sixth grade came, so did your tits
So I did that stink in my armpits
My friends all taught me how to cuss
My locker was across from yours
I taped your picture on the door
You were so the center of my lust
And I dreamed of days with you
If you were mine and what we’d do
We’d hide from our teachers
And french kiss under the bleachers
I’d suck your face just like a leech
You’d taste just like a Georgia peach
When our chapped lips finally meet
I’d freeze
High school for me was very hard
I watched my whole world fall apart
You dated everyone but me
I stood alone in my tube socks
While you were flirting with the jocks
Would you sign my yearbook at least?
And I dreamed of days with you
If you were mine and what we’d do
We’d ride a spaceship to the dance
And fall in love like “True Romance”
I’d even iron my good pants
Take you out to Paris, France
But I never got the chance
For a chance
2. Stacey’s couch
I called you on the phone
You were eating pancakes all alone
And you were worried about the snow
You told me to hold on so you could change phones
Every-time I try to get to you
Something happens and it makes me pout
I want you so bad I’m going crazy
I wonder when I’ll get to burn your couch
I was gonna see you today
But a blizzard came from miles away
So now I’m stuck inside
Writing this songs, I hope it makes you die
Girl, girl go away
Come again some other day
Yeah, go away to Japan
I don’t wanna hold your stupid fucking hand
I used to try so hard to get to you
But you treated me like I was the Anti-Christ
You disgust me with the stupid things you do
I’m so glad I realized that your “love” was lies
3. I don’t wanna be alone
Why does it hurt to be a person sometimes
I wanna shrivel up and die and blow away
And I don’t wanna e alone
But I don’t want to spend another night like
The night I had last night fighting with you
I can’t stop fighting with you
We used to do the dumbest things in the world
I was your boy, and you were my girl
Nothing could tear us apart
Now here I sit alone
Thinking about the things we’ve done
Now we’re done and all I think about is you
I can’t stop dreaming of you
4. Shiny metal pistol
You were a heavy metal angel, baby
You were a chubby cupie doll
You knew a girl who knew a girl who
Had it all inside a frame upon the wall
You had a shiny metal pistol, baby
You made a nifty little scar
You knew a girl who knew a girl who
Had it all
But what about you?
Are you something, too?
You’d better bet your ass you are
You’re someone’s little movie star tonight
You had a shiny metal wheelchair, baby
You got black blood inside your heart
You knew a girl who knew a girl who
Went too far
You got a shiny metal pistol, baby
You made a nifty little scar
You knew a girl who knew a girl who
Knew it all